


Someone You Loved

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Apple Pie Life (Supernatural), Brother Feels, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Conversations in the Impala (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Loves The Impala, Dean Winchester Misses Castiel, Depressed Dean Winchester, Depressing, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture - Bunker Breakup Scene, Episode: s15e04 Atomic Monsters, Feels, Fluff, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Quote: The Meat Man (Supernatural: Atomic Monsters), Sad Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Has PTSD, Sam Winchester is Not Okay, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Song: Someone You Loved, The Impala (Supernatural), There's no singing in supernatural, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, driver picks the music shotgun shuts his cakehole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-18 16:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21780199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: After Sam opens up at the end of Atomic Monsters, Dean really thinks about what he said... and how it applies to his own life.Dean realises that he wants normal. With Castiel..Based on 'Someone You Loved' by Lewis Capaldi.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	Someone You Loved

He’d listened to every word Sam had said.

And it all rang true.

There’s nothing to say… no words of comfort. It is as it is for the Winchesters.

He’d remembered the way he felt. The way he had always felt. Dean wants normal too. He dreams about it… craves it. He’d even had it once, but he should have known better than to think it would last. And just when he though he might have a snowballs chance at a life… bam! Chuck is back and on the prowl.

Dean could never let himself have a normal… not while Chuck is still here, manipulating things.

He screws his eyes shut, keeping his hands still on the wheel to prevent them from drifting off the road. It would be kind of hilarious if Chuck’s favourite toys died in a car crash on the side of the road.

Glancing back to Sam, he’s sure that he isn’t sleeping any time soon so he flicks on the radio.

_I’m goin’ under and this time I fear there’s no one to save me._

_This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy_

_I need somebody to heal_

_Somebody to know_

_Somebody to have_

_Somebody to hold_

_It’s easy to say but it’s never the same_

_I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain_

_Now the day bleeds…_

Dean lives in an all or nothing world and he’d driven away anyone who’d even want to save him.

He had someone to heal… to have… to hold… to numb all the pain. He had Cass. Now the day bleeds and everything is drenched in a ton of pain. There’s nothing he can do to change it. The damage had been done. He’d let his guard down like the song had said… gotten himself so used to Cass being… there… available… for him to love. Someone who loved him back. Someone who’s eyes he’d get lost in. And it had all been ripped away… just like that.

“Dean?”

He hums, not moving his head; not wanting to explain the tears in his eyes.

“You going to change the station?”

Why shouldn’t he suffer? This is everything Cass was to him… a representation of everything he’d so foolishly squandered.

“No.”

Dean doesn’t see the road as the song reaches it’s crescendo… all he sees is the trench-coated silhouette walking up the bunker stairs and out of his life forever.

_I was getting kind of used to being someone you love._


End file.
